Please Die Already



There has been quite a hullabaloo recently about the healthcare reform bill, incited mainly by this man and this woman. Why are they ranting and raving about Democrats creating “death panels” that will decide whether or not the elderly† or mentally disabled‡ continue to receive medical treatment? Can’t they see that America is chock full of people ripe for Death’s annual picking?

The Democrats want people to have access to “end of life counseling.” That is a nice way of them saying “we want to encourage you to die without eating up millions of millions of dollars in care.” And the elderly and infirm DO eat up millions of dollars; 80% of the money you spend on healthcare will be spent during the last three months of your life. Is it really worth it? To spend hour after hour, barely breathing, barely thinking, hooked up to life support with a feeding tube in your gut?

Americans have become highly sensitive to the issue of death. I thought that the whole reason behind this mushy Christianity stuff was to make people comfortable with the idea of dying. “Oh, don’t worry, there’s always the afterlife! Feel free to pass away as you wish.” Nope. Christian evangelicals and conservative Catholics are amongst the most adamant individuals who support your right to clutch on to your existence by any means; even if your body and mind have rotted away to nothing.

Actually, they’re not even supporting your right to life; they’d keep you alive regardless of how you feel.

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddman crochety old for the State to continue financing your life."

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddamn crotchety old for the State to continue financing your life."

What about my right to death? Listen to me: people need to die. People have been dying for millions and millions of years. Its natural. It happens all the time. The problem is that no one has instructed us on how to cope with and move past these tragic events.

Wait. Tragic? It shouldn’t be tragic; it should be joyful. The joyful passing of your loved one. We are so far removed from our natural state of being that we no longer value death… excluding the deaths of our enemies; that has always been joyous.

Lion King

Even Disney supports death panels.

Human bodies were not designed (intelligent or not) to last forever. Our cells stop regenerating as well, our joints become rigid and sore, our systems fail to save over and over again until it gets to a point that your body just dies. All of this extensive healthcare is in denial of the natural ‘Circle of Life‘. Certainly the deaths’ of those who did not live up to the prime peaks of life are tragic; they died too soon. But that only covers people up to about age 40; if you live past that point, I will be joyfully celebrating your passing with explicit glee.

So lighten up. Embrace death (the insurance companies have been running death panels for years now). Maybe even buy a t-shirt. It’ll balance the budget for Christ’s-sakes.

You don’t want to be alive for the zombie apocalypse anyway…

†‡Not that either of these groups really qualify as  being ‘that alive’ in the first place.

jakefunc is a contributing writer and editor of Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.



Filed under philosophy, Politics, science, social commentary

5 responses to “Please Die Already

  1. Ah, the death panel. The death panel is what private insurance has done for years.

    “Hmm, let’s see sir. You’re 73 years of age. You have been paying thousands yearly into our company, and now you would like to file a claim to get a new hearing aid. Well, according to our tests your hearing isn’t bad enough for us to allot the money for a new hearing device. Now, onto your colon cancer remission. we only pay for the blood work to be done every X amount of years. So last year when you were having rectal bleeding and had a CT scan to check for the return of cancer it was not covered. You next scheduled “paid” CT scan would have been in 2011. Sorry sir you’re going to have to pay that money yourself.”

    This seems to be what our private insurance companies are like.

    I wish we would all SAY FUCK YOU! Drop our insurance coverages. who the hell cares if you can’t pay for your treatment. You’re paying thousands yearly for coverage that still puts you in debt up to your eyes. fuck it. rack up more debt. I wouldn’t drop a dime into some shithole private insurance company.

    What would happen if today everyone said F’U’ insurance. I am not paying you another cent. Seriously, what happens?

    I can tell you right now I owed some sum of 140 dollars to robinson memorial for a broken wrist when I was 14. Strange I think. My mothers healthcare plan covers 100% on emergencies. Anyways, I refuse to pay a cent of the 140 dollars. I could strike it rich with 1 billion dollars, and I will never pay that 140 dollars.

    I’m not sure entirely what not paying this debt means, but honestly I don’t give a rats ass. If I can make it through my daily life and provide for my family I am content.

    im ranting.

  2. hellolion

    You’re completely wrong, to the point where I am deeply offended. I cannot believe you would write something that rallies so deeply against my core beliefs as a human being. It may not matter to you, and you might even think it’s funny, but unlike you I DO want to be alive for the zombie apocalypse, you insensitive jerk.

    Good post though, I agree that this culture of hanging on to every second of life, no matter how miserable, has gotten way out of hand. A Japanese book, The Complete Manual of Suicide, comes to mind. When the negative reaction about his book started to pour in the author simply responded to his attackers with, “Why must one live?”. While I’m no strong supporter of angst ridden teens throwing themselves from bridges, it is a good question to ask, and perhaps one we should be asking about the elderly and infirm who’s lives have no real joy or function left in them.

  3. Tom, you’ve segued brilliantly into the crux of the issue. The beauty of a government option would be that newer, not-for-profit competition would force the nefarious and unseen “Hand of the Market” to bitch-slap the insurance monopoly right in its teeth.

    Also: end of life counseling does not necessitate euthenasia! Counseling implies an acquaintance with intricacies of complex issues, so that a decision can be made personally – for or against – the expensive yet wholly understandable desire of westerners to prolong life at all costs.

    P.S. I would normally hope that that hospital never sees a red cent, but Robinson’s pretty fucking poor, dude. Still – way to take the power back.

  4. A combination of our media and politicians have made people think the idea of cheaper health or even some sort of universal coverage is the spawn of Satan. They somehow twist any thought on healthcare other than the current one as evil.

    Like I always tell everyone who tries to tell me healthcare reform is bad “Give me an argument that’s not about some business/corporation/politician losing money and I’m all ears.”

    When your speaking about another beings health, money is not an objective to me. My life our anyone else life cannot be assigned an X amount of worthless paper.

    The same applies to the education system too. Our country is filthy rich and we somehow cannot provide quality public education to the masses. I think we rank 12th in the world. something close to 15-20% of high school students do not graduate. phhhhh. I sometimes honestly think the government doesn’t want the masses educated.

    Anyways a side story on the American Health Care system as it stands. My german friend went to the the states about 6 years ago and he got pneumonia. He said he received 8 different bills and it took him 5 years to pay it off. I’m sure he wouldn’t have attempted to pay them off, but he has dual citizenship because his father was an American, so I am not sure if not paying would have affected his citizenship.

    Anyways, our healthcare system is jacked. It’s not going to get fixed until we quit listening to the nonsense of our elected lobbyists (politicians, mostly the conservative folks), and actually do something ourselves.

  5. redpillneo

    “I sometimes honestly think the government doesn’t want the masses educated.”

    Welcome to the Desert of the Real.

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