Dress For Success – Or Whatever

Morning comes. Or perhaps afternoon. The searing New Mexico sun announces that it’s time to drag my ass out of bed/off the couch/up from the bathroom floor, walk/stumble over to my closet/suitcase/laundry pile, and find something to where to class that will in some way distinguish me from all the other bums out on Central Avenue.

If I was lucky enough to fall asleep in my jeans, half the problem is solved outright (yay! denim karmas.) I have a fairly nice collection of t-shirts, most of which are reasonably inoffensive without labeling me as a square; the trick now is to match the size and tightness of the shirt with the jeans in question. Anything with a deodorant stain is tossed back, until time or scrubbing remove the marring whiteness. If I have a particular shirt in mind, such as my favorite Turisas concert tee, I may spare the energy to distinguish it from the aggregate mass of black, inside-out fabric, but my perpetual chillness may preclude such toil. A ponytail, one of four bandannas for a splash of color (or auxiliary blackness, contingently,) and a smile-inducing bout of coffee and Finnish metal where time allows, and I’m off on the commute to UNM.

The caffeine should be hitting by the time I enter class, and I’m starting to groove out on Kant or Heidegger (much more likely the latter – I have little stomach for realist apologetics.) The prof is probably fairly decently dressed, buttons or a collar, nothing too elaborate. Jesse’s looking clean-cut – that bastard always gets the ladies’ attention. The department greets me with a wealth of aesthetics: short hair and earrings, dreads and bandannas, ink and ponytails, nice jeans and a button shirt.

Occasionally, it dawns on me that I should make some effort to be “more professional” – no, that’s not it, there are at least three other dudes in here dressed straight outta hippie quarterly. I’ve shit-canned the wearing of jeans with holes in them in a classroom context; that should help. I guess I find myself coming off as – aggro? Grungy? Neo-cynicist – yes.

I don’t, as a rule, believe in extraneous social controls qua fashion. Still, I’m here on a fucking mission: I’ve got my warhammer, I’m doing my drills, I’m honing my philosophy for battle in the harsh academic jungle. Do I want to be the guy that comes in and whispers “yo dude…embrace the chill,” or do I want to turn some heads and drop some jaws? Is it possible to salvage this aesthetic with a layer of grey/black button shirts? Will the addition of a necklace successfully fool people into thinking I put effort into this ragtag ensemble?

Damn…I usually don’t put this much thought into these things; I’m starting to feel out of character. Image is power, illusion is power; so is centeredness, authenticity. I have come to join the UNM Lobos in prowling the forests of the academe. To run with the wolves – must I dress like a sheep?

Redpillneo is a contributing author for Project Group Think. Follow us on Twitter – we’re PGTblog.



Filed under philosophy, social commentary

2 responses to “Dress For Success – Or Whatever

  1. jakefunc

    Its about advancing interests.

    Lets say you’re trying to form a coalition of individuals; paradox right? Each person has their own ideas about reality, whats right or wrong and a completely different set of standards.

    In order for the group to coalesce well, a common denominator will need to be set. This is were “dress” comes in. I would hang out with you regardless; I’ll even be (dis)respectful enough to tell you that you stink or look like a total fucking slob. Others, however, in their absolute kindness, ignore you, not allowing for a mingling, mangling of two existences.

    Appearances are “the” first impression. Dress nicer, or more professionally, and you’ll be surprised by the way people treat you.

  2. Wardrobe is an extension of the personality, ego… or mask. There’s a time and a place for every face.

    The best garb for you to wear in the company of wolves depends completely on your intentions. If you want to seem non-threatening, sure a sheep can work, but you’ll also likely pique the interest of some hungry wolves that want dinner. This may work to your advantage if you operate best when you are being underestimated.

    To gain the trust of wolves, dress as the common wolf and speak their language. Play their games and show them how well you can don a sheep’s clothing in the company of sheep.

    To rise in wolf ranks, be one of the best-dressed wolves. Appeal to the Alphas, maintain your current position, polish your skills, prepare for a promotion or, alternatively, Alpha sabotage.

    To impress or intimidate the wolves (depending on the temperament), show them that you are a human that was hiding in your wolf skin all along. You fooled them. (Of course, you can never lose your nerve or confidence in this scenario. Also, make sure the skin is not their brother.)

    To make the wolves fear you, approach as a human with a big gun. However, you’d absolutely better know how to use it since you will be challenged. Most likely, there will be a casualty, and then you will find no sympathy or mercy from their kind thereafter.

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