Tag Archives: Disney

Please Die Already



There has been quite a hullabaloo recently about the healthcare reform bill, incited mainly by this man and this woman. Why are they ranting and raving about Democrats creating “death panels” that will decide whether or not the elderly† or mentally disabled‡ continue to receive medical treatment? Can’t they see that America is chock full of people ripe for Death’s annual picking?

The Democrats want people to have access to “end of life counseling.” That is a nice way of them saying “we want to encourage you to die without eating up millions of millions of dollars in care.” And the elderly and infirm DO eat up millions of dollars; 80% of the money you spend on healthcare will be spent during the last three months of your life. Is it really worth it? To spend hour after hour, barely breathing, barely thinking, hooked up to life support with a feeding tube in your gut?

Americans have become highly sensitive to the issue of death. I thought that the whole reason behind this mushy Christianity stuff was to make people comfortable with the idea of dying. “Oh, don’t worry, there’s always the afterlife! Feel free to pass away as you wish.” Nope. Christian evangelicals and conservative Catholics are amongst the most adamant individuals who support your right to clutch on to your existence by any means; even if your body and mind have rotted away to nothing.

Actually, they’re not even supporting your right to life; they’d keep you alive regardless of how you feel.

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddman crochety old for the State to continue financing your life."

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddamn crotchety old for the State to continue financing your life."

What about my right to death? Listen to me: people need to die. People have been dying for millions and millions of years. Its natural. It happens all the time. The problem is that no one has instructed us on how to cope with and move past these tragic events.

Wait. Tragic? It shouldn’t be tragic; it should be joyful. The joyful passing of your loved one. We are so far removed from our natural state of being that we no longer value death… excluding the deaths of our enemies; that has always been joyous.

Lion King

Even Disney supports death panels.

Human bodies were not designed (intelligent or not) to last forever. Our cells stop regenerating as well, our joints become rigid and sore, our systems fail to save over and over again until it gets to a point that your body just dies. All of this extensive healthcare is in denial of the natural ‘Circle of Life‘. Certainly the deaths’ of those who did not live up to the prime peaks of life are tragic; they died too soon. But that only covers people up to about age 40; if you live past that point, I will be joyfully celebrating your passing with explicit glee.

So lighten up. Embrace death (the insurance companies have been running death panels for years now). Maybe even buy a t-shirt. It’ll balance the budget for Christ’s-sakes.

You don’t want to be alive for the zombie apocalypse anyway…

†‡Not that either of these groups really qualify as  being ‘that alive’ in the first place.

jakefunc is a contributing writer and editor of projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.



Filed under philosophy, Politics, science, social commentary

A New Dawn for All of Smurfdom

smurf-villageAs I was perusing various news and entertainment articles last week, I came across something that surprised me. It was an article about the Smurfs. For those of us in the twenty-thirty range, we are probably all too familiar with the original blue dudes, but for younger audiences, Hannah Montana, Spongebob Squarepants, and the Fairly Odd Parents are likely more recognizable; which brings me to why the article about the Smurfs was so surprising—in December 2010 Columbia Pictures/Sony Animation will be releasing a full length live action/animated “Smurfs” the movie.

YES PEOPLE ITS TRUE! The little blue characters are hitting the big screen—in both 2D and 3D. While I am not entirely sold on the idea of a live action/animated Smurfs movie, I am interested to see what they will do with this beloved cartoon. The Smurfs were created in 1958 by a Belgium cartoonist by the name of Peyo for a comic strip and were later picked up by Hannah-Barbera Productions.

Growing up I remember my mother nicknaming my grandfather Papa Smurf, standing just barely over five foot tall with snow white hair, he was probably appropriately tagged. For me, minus the squeaky voices and seeing them run around the screen—that is probably one of my only early memories of The Smurfs, years since I have picked up a rerun episode every now and again, but I wonder just how well younger audiences will take to The Smurfs this time around.papa_smurf

At one time I loved Strawberry Shortcake; it appears that Strawberry has made somewhat of a revival—appearing on dolls, bags, t-shirts, and in the toy isle. While The Smurfs have still popped up on a novelty t-shirt from time to time, you can bet that merchandising for this thing will be huge! Smurf plush toys and novelty items will be crammed on Wal-Mart shelves for Christmas 2010.

Some might argue that the networks, production companies, etc. picking up and recycling these older cartoons to be rather lame. I for one, find it interesting, it brings back old memories, good memories. My friends and I have touched this topic quite a few times, discussing plot lines for our most beloved cartoons, how much we miss them etc. The best idea we have conjured up—a live action movie of—pause for emphasis, Gargoyles. Please may the forces that be use tight digital effects and computer graphics to recreate this most awesome of cartoons. How bad ass would that be? I loved coming in after school and watching Gargoyles.

Fortunately, it was one of the few cartoons my brother and I could easily agree to. I think somewhere in that line-up came The Animaniacs as well, oh the formerly known WB, how we miss you.

Well enough of this childish rambling, I am going to go see how many of my favorites I can dig up and watch on Hulu. Look mom! I wrote five paragraphs, (and they say cartoons and TV rot your brain.) Oh wait, I never provided closing statements about the Smurfs! How silly of me. For all of you kids out there, both young and old, enjoy a replay of some, hopefully good, childhood memories. Maybe your most beloved childhood cartoon will get a revamp in the near future!


Eelliso1 is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under Entertainment, Uncategorized

The Question of Love

“All you need is love.” All right, go ahead and hum the chorus fill, “doot doo doodoo doo;” it’s out of both our systems now. Focusing more attentively on the lyrical content of this refrain-turned-mantra, we see a claim reiterated to us in various forms by not only the Beatles, but by poets, theologians, and philosophers. Even Disney, that dark tyrant of corporate woe, steps down from its black throne to sing out with the Bacchanalian masses: “Can you feel the love the tonight? It is where we are.” But is it enough for our own “star-crossed warriors,” burnt and well-scarred by the pangs of heartache, to pursue the ideal further?

At our core, of course, we are animals. On the obvious level, we like to shag. Say it with me kids. “Shag.” Even makes one feel sexier, somehow more complete, doesn’t it? All you porn-star types can go ahead and hit me with a “fuck”if it makes you feel dirtier; the bottom line is that people dig coitus. But a further meditation, I believe, will show that even on the primal level, we crave a bonding that is more substantive than handcuffs or nipple clips. Even at the most animal tier of consciousness, a large number of people feel the desire to be a part of a pack, to love the tribe and have that love returned. Maybe this pack is small, a wild-eyed couple on their honeymoon who needs nothing and no one else. Maybe it is larger, a la Salt Lake City – patriarchy notwithstanding, I am sure that Mormons need lovin’, too.


The point is, we have two distinct drives in play when we take up the love gambit: one sexual, one interpersonal. One often seems to trip over the other, however, and the restrictions of the “social contract” complicate the matter further. Would that we might find some romantic sorting hat, that grouped us each with our own kind before we prowled the bars and singles’ sites – “You’re a polygamist,” it would call to us, each in our turn, “you should marry immediately and monogamously, and you simply need to fuck until your eyes fall out. Now go, all of you, and be happy!”


The truth is, neither of these drives can be reduced to a textbook definition. What for one person is the sex drive will for another seem some psychic torment (think a blushing traditionalist swapping brain-states with the Marquis de Sade.) And, of course, when one does find the elusive fruit that poets call true love, it may be doomed by one partner’s inclinations toward a romantic life into which the other simply cannot follow. I believe this escapes many of us on a daily basis, as Americans are wont to accept the tacit premise of monogamous marriage without question. And this is not to knock monogamous marriage, though the institution seems marred by bigotry in most states.


Perhaps you have considered this issue in depth – I would be quite intrigued to read what other seekers might have found. Perhaps these thoughts seem new, exciting, like the opening of so many spiritual doors within the unseen corridors of your heart’s subconscious yearning. Caution, young grasshopper, you tread a frightening but exciting road – trust yourself, but never the terrain. Or, just perhaps, you think this is a bunch of hippie bullshit, and that the author is single-handedly responsible for incurring both AIDS and 9/11 at the hands of a vengeful god. Be not afraid, oh traditional one – there is room for you as well at love’s table. Eat the fruit which suits your palette best.


(Note: the author takes as given that each lover’s needs may transcend gender – in a few generations, maybe we won’t even remember what homophobia meant.)

 Redpillneo is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under philosophy

Lady GaGa and the “Disney Pop Princess”

I apologize for the brevity of this post in advance. My initial intent was to cover a few serious social topics of which I had already started to develop, but after repeatedly channel surfing to avoid celebrity gossip and skipping through my playlists comparing phenomenal artists like Smokey Robinson, Stevie Ray Vaughn, and Carol King to our most popular artists today something occurred to me. We are a society that idolizes and reveres mediocrity. Much like child athletes who all receive a participation trophy, we actually allow acts dripping with digital work and pyrotechnics to stand beside the true winners. Now I will be the first to say that I listen to nearly every genre of music, if I have not heard it–I will listen to it, (although it may not happen a second time.) I will even admit that I find myself “bopping” my head and shoulders to a little “Just Dance,” from time to time—so it does not entirely go without merit, however do I consider it revolutionary by any means? Absolutely not.

Perhaps the fact that marginally decent singers and songwriters are proclaiming themselves to be “revolutionary,” (even her poker face cannot pull of that statement,) should be considered a serious social issue. As I mentioned before, I listen to a variety of music. Just for a point of reference lets mention a few examples of artists/groups I might actually call revolutionary: BB King, Janis Joplin, Lynard Skynyrd, or Aretha Franklin; maybe revolutionary is not the word I am looking for here…The point is if you are going to claim to be a certain caliber of performer/musician, please attempt to have some real talent.

Which brings me to another curious tidbit, according to a recent interview I read with Lady Gaga–the glitter stricken diva has had classical training. At what point do you throw out classical training for beats and synthesizers? I assume it was probably around the same time she rebelled against her parents, moved out, and started stripping to really create a voice for herself. I completely support exploring your identity and some mild grade rebellion, but perhaps GaGa should have left the face paint and glitter for the pole. Seriously, the dance music/wild outfits have been done, (Madonna, Cher, Britney, Fergie–need I go on?)

Speaking of rebellious pop “sensations,” lets discuss the current reigning “mouskateers.” I am not even certain this new Disney brood could be labeled as mouskateers, but they are certainly not very different than their earlier counterparts, (Britney Spears, Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera.)  Although each one of them seems to think they have highly unique qualities. With Disney molding their appearance, sound, and looks–much of the existence is in fact cookie cutter. Unless of course you count miss country.
Miley Cyrus has only one advantage over her peers, (Billy Ray fans would say two,) her Disney alter ego actually offers her the opportunity to pull away from Disney. Miley is able to easily market herself seperate from Disney’s bubble gum character. However, the current Hannah/Miley pandemonium is not by any means justified. Again, marginally good talent, (think karaoke bars, county fairs etc.) with the attitude of a super star.

Sorry Miley, your songs about life and your upcoming memoirs will probably not actually save the world. Its a good thing your dad had all of that on the job experience from Doc. At least people have had sense enough to not let him  revive his career by peddling his daughter to every talent agency and booking agent $20.00 dollars could buy.

I think my rant needs to be wrapped up at this juncture. Essentially, I think it is important for tasteful minded individuals to avoid popular music, avoid the gossip columns, and avoid tabloids. Apparently what you need to sell records today is a really good gimmick and a little flash in the pan. The Zac Efron, Ashley Tisdale, and Akon’s of the world are making the local band scenes the place to be. Artists like The Jonas Brothers may be an easy sell to preteens and mini van mothers, but to call them revolutionary is sort of like saying Samantha Ronson is revolutionizing the art of the disc jockey. For the Northeast Ohio area,  I happily suggest Peabodys in the flats, the Spitfire,or The Carriage House Concert and Nite Club in Louisville.

Hey, media, yea you…cover someone who has talent, not someone who perfected the panty slip for your photographers.

eelliso1 is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under Entertainment, Uncategorized