Tag Archives: Passion

Please Die Already



There has been quite a hullabaloo recently about the healthcare reform bill, incited mainly by this man and this woman. Why are they ranting and raving about Democrats creating “death panels” that will decide whether or not the elderly† or mentally disabled‡ continue to receive medical treatment? Can’t they see that America is chock full of people ripe for Death’s annual picking?

The Democrats want people to have access to “end of life counseling.” That is a nice way of them saying “we want to encourage you to die without eating up millions of millions of dollars in care.” And the elderly and infirm DO eat up millions of dollars; 80% of the money you spend on healthcare will be spent during the last three months of your life. Is it really worth it? To spend hour after hour, barely breathing, barely thinking, hooked up to life support with a feeding tube in your gut?

Americans have become highly sensitive to the issue of death. I thought that the whole reason behind this mushy Christianity stuff was to make people comfortable with the idea of dying. “Oh, don’t worry, there’s always the afterlife! Feel free to pass away as you wish.” Nope. Christian evangelicals and conservative Catholics are amongst the most adamant individuals who support your right to clutch on to your existence by any means; even if your body and mind have rotted away to nothing.

Actually, they’re not even supporting your right to life; they’d keep you alive regardless of how you feel.

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddman crochety old for the State to continue financing your life."

"Sir, we have found you to be too goddamn crotchety old for the State to continue financing your life."

What about my right to death? Listen to me: people need to die. People have been dying for millions and millions of years. Its natural. It happens all the time. The problem is that no one has instructed us on how to cope with and move past these tragic events.

Wait. Tragic? It shouldn’t be tragic; it should be joyful. The joyful passing of your loved one. We are so far removed from our natural state of being that we no longer value death… excluding the deaths of our enemies; that has always been joyous.

Lion King

Even Disney supports death panels.

Human bodies were not designed (intelligent or not) to last forever. Our cells stop regenerating as well, our joints become rigid and sore, our systems fail to save over and over again until it gets to a point that your body just dies. All of this extensive healthcare is in denial of the natural ‘Circle of Life‘. Certainly the deaths’ of those who did not live up to the prime peaks of life are tragic; they died too soon. But that only covers people up to about age 40; if you live past that point, I will be joyfully celebrating your passing with explicit glee.

So lighten up. Embrace death (the insurance companies have been running death panels for years now). Maybe even buy a t-shirt. It’ll balance the budget for Christ’s-sakes.

You don’t want to be alive for the zombie apocalypse anyway…

†‡Not that either of these groups really qualify as  being ‘that alive’ in the first place.

jakefunc is a contributing writer and editor of projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.



Filed under philosophy, Politics, science, social commentary

Hypochondriacs Anonymous.

Yesterday a friend suggested something very probable to me. I may just be a hypochondriac. Like always, I researched this possibility. It affects 6% of the population, but I also don’t know how old that statistic is. It seems very low, but I could consider myself as being one.

When I was in 9th grade, after learning about STDs, I thought that I had an STD. I thought that I had genital warts. I began checking myself constantly for signs of STDs. I also thought that I was pregnant, and that running excessive miles in cross-country would make the baby go away. People, I was a virgin.

I had nothing wrong with me, except that I was advised by my doctor to get more Iron in my blood because I was close to having blood-deficiency.

Years passed in high school. When I began having sex, the worries began once again. I learned that I really, really loved sex. So I did it often. I used protection, minus 1 or 2 times. When I first came to college, I got tested for everything, including HIV/AIDS. Most people I know have A) Never had a blood test or B) Have them once a year, if not, less. Others do not go to the doctor when they “think” they have something, and others have unprotected sex when they know they have something, such as HPV.

Why do people do this? I don’t know and I can’t imagine their reasoning. Me, on the other hand, will wake up the next day after engaging in protected sexual activity, and think that I have somehow contracted HIV, warts, chlamydia, and gotten pregnant. These worries sometimes consume me to the point where my body begins creating fake symptoms. I have actually begun shaking, thoughts spinning in my head, keeping me up at night. I have put myself in cold sweats, and then gone on to think that it’s a sign of a disease. I have had body aches, and made myself believe it was a sign of HIV.

When these worries happen, I then begin to bother my past sexual partners– texting, calling– to ask them if they have had STDs. At the time of sexual encounter, this question was already asked. However, I have trouble actually believing the person.

Condoms are 97% effective against the transmission of STDs and HIV/AIDS if used correctly. This is true, right? This means that 97% of the time, I am safe from contracting a disease. Yet, months after my last sexual partner, I will still imagine that he has given me something, even if I have NO symptoms at all.

I have gotten yearly pap smears since I was 18. 2-3 of those years, I had returned to the doctor for more pap smears. This is excessive, but so are two blood tests a year. I have wasted hours in the waiting room and hours worrying at home. The final answer from my doctor has always been this: Your pap smear came back normal. Your blood test came back negative.

Since my last pap smear, I have had 8 sexual partners, due to my excessive drinking and black outs. 2 of these were unprotected, yet contributing to no symptoms of anything. The rest of these partners used condoms. Sex is something I love, and I do not really regret my decisions because of that. But I do regret that I waste so much time worrying. Currently, I believe that I have contracted herpes from an ex-hook up partner/boyfriend/guy I dated. I make myself believe that people have it out for me, and that they have plans to give me diseases. Currently, I also believe that I could be pregnant, even though my period came on time last month, I’ve gained no weight, and have no symptoms. Whenever I have PMS (breasts become tender, moods become irritable), I attribute it to pregnancy and head to the computer where I research all the symptoms, putting myself into a shaking nervous anxiety attack. Then my period will come on time.

I always misdiagnose ingrown hairs for genital warts or herpes. I check myself everytime I get out of the shower, unless I forget.

I don’t know why I have unprotected sex with some people, but that is completely my fault. If I should go to the doctor again for tests, it would be the third doctor visit in less than 6 months. It would also be my second blood test in one year.

Perhaps I should stop seeing the doctor, and instead, see a psychologist. As far as I know, I have HIV, herpes, gonorrhea, and HPV in the back of my throat. My neck currently aches, probably from all the worry and staring at an online medical database. I woke up with aching shoulders, probably from sleeping in angst.

You may be thinking, “Well, stop having sex.” or “Go get tested.”

My fears have become so irrational that I am trying, for once, to resist going to the doctor unless or until major symptoms should arise. I have always been careful, this is a fact, for at least 98% of the time. Each time I go to the doctor, I am told that I am fine. Also, I have been to the doctor so many times this year that I have reached my family insurance cap. I went a couple more times because I got a yeast infection and I had poison ivy, however I thought that the poison ivy was scabies. I knew I had a yeast infection, but I didn’t believe myself, and figured it was clamydia. I am always a nervous wreck. Now, I am trying to deal with the problems myself instead of getting in my car, running out for plan B, pregnancy tests, researching every STD known to humankind (including pictures of infected people, and comparing them to my perfectly healthy-looking private parts). I am trying, for once in my life, to be rational and put  my worries into other forms. Now, I’m trying to move on with my life and leave my worries behind. Having numerous body ailments = unrealistic. Cleaning my room = realistic.

I hope that I do not need therapy for this, but it may be a good idea. Whenever I see a therapist, I just sit in the chair and don’t really say anything. I think I’m a hypochondriac, but I also may just be faking the symptoms, even though my heart has been pounding and I’m feeling nervous as I’ve typed this entire thing.

I hope that you, the reader, can provide me with some helpful insights, aside from the old adage, “Get tested,” as I know my body very well and the rational part of my brain is beginning to say, “Do not worry unless you have a reason to.” Thank you for reading.

JadeAmethystt is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under social commentary, Uncategorized

The Big Dick Hypothesis

America is a nation beleaguered by cultural problems. Homicide, criminal sociopathic behavior, drug and alcohol abuse, teen pregnancy, abortion, greed, selfishness, apathy, ego-mania… other countries just don’t seem to have these problems; other 1st world countries anyways. The United States boasts the strongest economy and military in the whole entire world, yet we still struggle to suppress these basic, almost primitive actions and behaviors. What is it that’s holding us back?

These problems arise from an infatuation with penises. Large ones. There’s nothing an American loves more that an erect cock penetrating a vagina, ass, mouth, anonymous orifice, whatever, and its even better if its even BIGGER. And why do Americans love such enormous phalluses? Because we’ve got’em.

Message to Kevin Sorbo and Peter Steele: Please stop destroying America.

Message to Kevin Sorbo and Peter Steele: Please stop destroying America.

That’s right; America, the great melting pot, seems to have gotten the best the world has to offer. Why not celebrate your freedom this Fourth of July by hoisting the Red, White and Blue up your gargantuan manhood? You don’t even need to crunch the numbers on this one folks; it’s been lying there, all the while, right in front of our faces.

Ever wonder why the Pilgrims made their way across the Atlantic? It wasn’t their Puritan beliefs, but their most prodigious pipe-laying that had them exiled by penis-envious Anglicans. Soon enough, big dicked destitutes from around the world were embarking for America. And yes, the mass importation of African slaves only boosted this worrying statistic to new heights.

Here’s the raw data:

According to the U.S. Census in 2006, America is 72% White, 14% Hispanic, and 13% Black. Now check out these penis stats:

Average Length (inches)

White: 6.25

Black: 6.9

Hispanic: 6.2

Asian: 5.45

Average Girth (inches)

White: 4.5

Black: 4.6

Hispanic: 4.45

Asian: 4.2

I also found this chart that seemed oddly genitalia shaped... (courtesy Wikipedia)

I also found this chart that seemed rather oddly shaped... (courtesy Wikipedia)

Booyah! That’s some All-American pride there! Although I guess it’s really just excluding Asians. Sorry guys, maybe in the next 100 years you’ll rise to racial genitial glory.

Oh. Oops. I forgot that my entire point revolved around how these big dicks are causing all the problems in America.


Also, here’s a fellow weighing his junk against a sack of gold.

jakefunc is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under Entertainment

Art, Blood, Catharsis

Admittedly, I am not the most “productive” member of society. I say productive in the most capitalist, meaningless sense of the term, but on rare occasions I do in fact get down on myself for this perceived lack of responsibility. And, during these bouts of turmoil, I console myself by remembering that I am, mentally speaking, bringing food back to the tribe.

Or so I thought. I have noticed, on occasion, that this ideational food is often perceived as bitter, and less than nourishing. As an example, I ran into a girl I knew from high school at a party, the attendants of which were actively pro-drug, and somehow wound up talking about the uses of ketamine in transcending the human ego. Looking horrified, she asked that I not tell her things that would make her think of me in this (presumably negative) light.

This is sort of to be expected, and I’m not really crying in my beer over it (though I am saddened that someone whom I cared about was unable to benefit from my experiences.) One issue, however, seems to evoke this reaction more often than drugs, free love, or nihilist meta-ethics. I am speaking of the issue of masochism.

Barring details, I became acquainted with the art and philosophy of bodily injury on an intimate and spiritual level during the later months of two thousand and eight. I do not practice overt masochism at present, nor do I have plans to resume said practice in the foreseeable future. However, because of the recent nature of these events on the timeline of my life, they have, on occasion, been the subject of controversy of late (such as when a romantic interest found pictures of a particularly brutal work I had crafted in early January – BUZZKILL.) I address this issue because of the frequency with which I find myself pressed to verbally defend my actions, often without having raised the matter of my own volition.

Spiritually and aesthetically, there is something to the masochistic arts that I, a seasoned pursuer of bizarre experiences, found unique. To sit down and tear a knife over one’s own flesh, whether a quickie in the bathroom before class or a thorough-going, hundred cut masterwork, arouses psychical and aesthetic energies on a nuclear level, and does in fact produce beauty for those eyes which have taught themselves to see it.

I am not advocating this path to anyone, just as I wouldn’t hand you a checklist of drugs or sex partners and tell you to emulate the experiences that make my life unique. The point I am attempting to drive home is that much undue shock and chagrin is produced by the mention of a tradition that is as cathartic as it is aesthetic. Quite frankly, I have found otherwise intelligent, open-minded people reacting to the matter much as Victorian society reacted to homosexuality. More disturbing is the fact that, to the masochist-in-practice, those activities which are often symptomatic of deeper concerns are treated with all gravity, while the root problems are overlooked entirely. Not once have I ever truly given a fuck that I was scarred, bleeding, or in danger of some other non-serious biological reaction which the outside world construed as physical jeopardy. What I did care about was the inner blackness with which I found my psyche being consumed – a blackness which the masochistic experience attempted to pacify or resolve.

On that note, I yield the floor to group discussion. Perhaps you have a story of your own, of which I encourage to share as much or as little as you please. Perhaps this article has raised some questions in your own mind, or perhaps you merely think I’m a fucking moron and would like to tell me this in just so many words. If you would like to give feedback but are uncomfortable doing so in a public setting, I welcome responses at mfbrettx@unm.edu.

Redpillneo is a contributing writer for ProjectGroupThink.  Follow us on Twitter at username PGTblog.


Filed under philosophy

What is Your Favorite?

There are those among us who develop life long passions, “favorites,” or interests. I am not one of those individuals. One of the most annoying aspects of social networking sites in my opinion is generating lists of “favorites.” Why would this task seem so daunting? Its simple really, my opinions and change rather rapidly. It makes me a unique individual, but I spend majority of my time half-heartedly enjoying something and then moving in a totally different direction.
Whether it be music, movies, art, or career aspirations, there is a good chance it will have changed by next week. In fact, I rather envy those who develop such a strong appreciation for something that they know it inside and out–such as memorizing all of the albums ever made by say The Beetles and the release dates. I am not sure what use that information will ever have, but I envy the drive behind it all the same.
That is not to say that I never develop a true appreciation for anything, but it is generally to a lesser degree than others. I cannot even answer what my favorite color is. Get to the point right? The point is, I do have one favorite that has stayed the same for about six or seven years for now, and I would like to share that with you. Love sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda.
Pablo Neruda although not a household name, won the Nobel Prize in 1971 for his literature. He is also known for his political interests, (once an active member of the communist party in Chile.) What astounds me about his poetry is how well it translates into english. Even in english his work keeps the tone of the poem.
I hope that you will all enjoy this and share with us some of your favorites. I would also like to hear your opinions and takes on this sonnet.
Love Sonnet XVII by Pablo Neruda
I do not love you as if you were a salt rose, or topaz
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
So I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

eelliso1 is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under Entertainment

Bulking Up the BA–Questioning LERs

As an employee of Kent State University I receive an array of wonderful benefits, including of course free education. A few of those who know me well are aware that I had to make a brief departure from Kent State University as a student a few years ago due to financial issues. I opted instead to attend a private business college. My basic goal was to obtain an associate degree in hopes that it would provide me with enough leverage to secure a position at a local college or university where I could take advantage of free schooling.

One year after I graduated, I was able to say that I had achieved that goal. Few people supported my decision to leave Kent State in favor for that private business college, but I can honestly say that without my associate degree—I would not be reaping the aforementioned benefits that I receive today.

Now having given all of this background, I would like to point out that my associate degree while transferable to Hiram College for instance, is not transferable to Kent State for various accreditation reasons. Which essentially means my undergraduate work will be started at the ground level, instead of looking at two years as a full-time student, I am easily looking at four to five—providing that with my job I can actually work myself up to attending full time.

While not being able to transfer credits is a tad a frustrating, I am more frustrated with the “LERs.” The liberal education requirements are meant to insure that the community benefits from a well rounded individual. They cover a vast range of topics and subjects—which are often of course, totally unrelated to your major/field of study. Many individuals would rather dive into the field they are passionate about, rather than waste countless dollars and hours studying and memorizing information they will likely never encounter after their final exam passes through their fingers to their instructor’s fingers.

Obviously, since BA degrees are held in higher esteem than accelerated programs and associate degrees—employers are still banking on those LERs providing them with individuals who are capable of thinking outside of the box or more than likely filling more than one gap in the work environment.

Kent State has recently decided to rework the liberal education requirements, here is a passage regarding their progress:

“After five months of intense work, the committee has created a set of guiding principles for the new “Kent Core” (LER’s in our old language). The Kent Core is premised on a learner-centered approach to education that focuses on the programmatic learning outcomes of knowledge, responsibility, insight and engagement (KRIE). In addition to fulfilling Transfer Module Requirements, the model includes a diversity requirement, capstone requirements and an applied literacy requirement.”

For the full article you may go here: http://provostupdate.kent.edu/

Now, I have a few questions, because I can honestly say I have no idea what the hell that paragraph even means. If the new Kent Core is a learner centered approach, what were the LER’s? I would think that the LEARNER would be at the heart and sole of most of the universities dynamics. I am just not sure I understand what is meant by that. Also, I fail to see how the previous principles would not have included learning outcomes of knowledge, responsibility, insight and engagement.

When I first heard that the university would be reworking the LER’s, I was hopeful that we would see a greater flexibility that would warrant the individual to take classes more aligned with their true course of study. I was hoping for some radical shift in thinking that would give people the opportunity to really build a program that had more substance. It appears however, to be another example of important people using flash in the pan and articulate words to make it appear as if they are actually working.

I mean what the hell kind of update is that? What is going to be changing? That is the bottom line. Instead we get some pretty packaging around an articulately written update that ultimately does not provide us with sufficient insight. I would have greatly appreciated some reference back to the LER’s to demonstrate the contrast between the old philosophy and the new, now I am just left feeling lost—waiting for another update.

So here I am taking two history classes to meet my LERs—as a “pre-computer information systems” major. Luckily I am already a well rounded individual and happen to love history. If I did not love learning in general, I am not sure I would have the motivation to go through a year or two learning about anything and everything in order to get to the really valuable and pertinent information. Imagine all of the others who work two jobs just to make end me, single mothers who have to figure out daycare to come to classes, and senior citizens who begin their path to enlighten and a better career…imagine their frustration.

I suppose it comes down to what the purpose is of our higher education. Is it to ready one for their career, for their work, or is it to produce a society of well rounded intellectuals. I do not begrudge those who support LERs, or who even enjoy them—I think they serve a vast majority of us very well, but I certainly do not think that those who want to focus on their work, their passions, and their specific subjects of interest should be considered less competent—just because an individual as a degree for heating and cooling and did not take Psych 101,  does not mean that he or she cannot effectively install my air conditioning unit.

eelliso1 is a contributing writer for projectgroupthink.wordpress.com. Get instant updates for this blog via Twitter: PGTblog.


Filed under philosophy, Politics